Let It Go
by MissMarrrie
Summary: Regina's emotional instability causes her to lose control of her magic. With her longing for her rekindled past for Maleficent, she finds that going to the dark side isn't always the worst way out.
1. Chapter 1: It's Getting Stronger

She fought hard to keep the tears from running down her cheeks as she stared into the fireplace. It was painful and humiliating all the same to lose control when you've had it for so long; keeping the pieces of a broken puzzle held barely together by empty promises and dead ends. There was no reason for her to go back to her hero lifestyle anymore, there was nothing left. She knew who she was and that was who she'd always be; a villain. Her search for Robin hit rock bottom and she started to wonder if he was really what she wanted. Their meetings were filled with sexual tension and lust, but the feelings that were supposed to be behind the passionate kisses faded quickly. Her son who once looked at her like a hero was now more attached to his real mother than he was ever attached to her. He sees Emma as a knight in shining armor and her as second best. Though she will always love Henry with the deepest part of her heart, she knew that he would be okay without her. Everyone would. She's killed, lied, cheated and did everything she could to get the power and control she still has today. She's losing that battle.

She knew her dark side was coming back to her just days ago when she felt the power of fire start to spark through her fingers as soon as her emotional stability dissipated. No one seemed to question why a piece of paper she was holding in Snow and David's apartment suddenly turned into ash. Maybe they assumed that the stress was getting to her and bringing back the negative side of her magic, or maybe they secretly hoped that she could reverse whatever was causing her outbursts.

Something the matter darling?" Cruella chimed in and tried to break her out of her emotional spell. Regina still didn't know if the woman liked her or just liked to make a joke out of her. Her verbal expressions towards her lacked sympathy but also provided her with a sense of protection and friendship. "You do realize you're throwing sparks into the fireplace over and over again and you lit it half an hour ago?"

"No. I'm fine, just need to let off some steam.", Regina replied with a shaky voice. If she came undone at this moment and let herself cry everyone would think she really had lost her touch. They would think she was missing her family, wanting to go back into town and regretted teaming up with them in the first place. This all started with her going undercover, but the cover seemed to not feel so falsified anymore. It would be easy to team up with the Queens of Darkness yet again and have everything she's had before. When you have nothing, resorting to your old ways where you at least had a shred of happiness to your name didn't seem so bad. Emma, David and Snow weren't really her family or her friends and she knew she needed to let them go.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep then? We have a lot of work ahead of us if you want your happy ending." To be fair, her happy ending was no longer important. She could stop helping them and blow her cover if she wanted but something held her back. The people she thought she cared for could at one time get hurt no matter how much she tried to deny her sympathy. The queens could hurt Henry and if that was the case she would never forgive herself. Still, the flashbacks of her mother killing her first love due to Snow and her big mouth wracked through her brain. The thoughts of being imprisoned by her and David as they sat high on their thrones and looked down upon her. The look in her mother's eyes as she tortured her and laughed the whole way through her adolescence, Henry's smile as he runs up to Emma and hugs her; when he tells her that he loves her. The clear pictures from the past sent a feeling of boiling blood inside of her, filling her up with both anger and despair. She threw a larger ball of fire into the fireplace, causing the flames to rise and turn brighter in color. If there was a happy ending for her out there and it wasn't Robin, she now wanted to know what it was at all costs. Maybe it was curiosity or a longing for some sort of affection but there was nothing to lose. She could find a way to spare Henry but for the others, fuck it.

"Yes I'll try."

Maleficent raised her hand towards Regina from across the room and held out something she hasn't seen for years.

"Need something besides fire to help you take the edge off?"

"No." As tempted as she was to take her up on her offer, she couldn't stand the fact that her anxiety would only be gone temporarily and it would be twice as bad when she crashed.

Without saying another word she lied down on her side away from the other woman and closed her eyes, knowing that sleep would not come to her so easily. Her hands shook and she was on the verge of both crying and setting someone on fire all while trying to keep a perfectly straight face. How could all of these people from Storybrooke do this to her and yet she still dedicates all of her time to them? She tried to mentally erase the feelings of vengeance and rage but there was no stopping it anymore. After all, they were the ones who hurt her first.

Just minutes after starting to finally doze off a loud vibration coming from her pocket startled her.

'Are you sure you're okay?' a text message showed up in her inbox. She didn't recognize the number but still felt compelled to respond. She wanted to speak out loud but contained her resentment towards the unknown sender but stayed silent in case it was someone merely trying to set her off. She was almost afraid to touch her phone in fear that it would burst into flames. To no surprise she felt a spark move quickly through her fingers and her breathing shallowed. 'Control.' She kept thinking to herself. 'Don't feel. You're better than this.'

'I don't know who you are and I don't know why you care.'

'Look up dear.' As she turned around and glanced over at the other women, noticing that Ursula was passed out on the couch beside her, Cruella was sleeping while slumped in her chair and Mal was the one with the phone in her hands. She didn't look back at Regina but instead smirked to herself as if she had something to be happy about.

'Regina I know there's something wrong that goes deeper than what we're doing right now.'

'It's none of your business and I'm fine. I don't feel well and I'm trying to sleep so leave me alone.'

'Did you forget how close we used to be before you disappeared.' As Regina put down her phone and tried to ignore the texts, they kept coming in over and over. As much as her and Mal had a past that once filled her up with hope and self-assurance, the woman couldn't possibly be the same. How could someone still care about her after everything she's done and her constant change between good and bad. This had to be a game she was trying to play to make her crack and she wasn't planning on giving up anytime soon. One message after another were making her crazy but she just couldn't look away. She turned away from her once again as her eyes were still stuck to the screen. Her mind went backwards to time when Mal held her in her arms late at night to stop her crying. She made her feel protected from her mother and that was all someone had to do to earn her trust. When she was with Mal, she felt invincible. If she let her in, all she would do was hurt her. Her fear of running back to Emma and the consequences of those actions made her keep her distance.

'Please talk to me. I can't do this with you anymore Regina.'

'Enough.', Regina gave in and responded. That was the last message she was planning on sending as she was determined to hold her ground.

'What did I ever do to you? You know I care about you.'

'Why do you keep shutting me out?'

'Why do you shut the world out Regina?'

"I said enough!", she found herself yelling at the other woman out loud. Ursula and Cruella were quickly awoken from their sleep and looked over at Regina as if she were crazy. For once in their lives they said nothing but looked back and forth between her and Mal. It was a shock that they didn't want to open their mouths and start more trouble. A fierce spark shot through Regina's towards Maleficent as she stopped it with a spell much stronger than her own. She felt tears stinging at her eyes again and stood up, ready to run away before she started sobbing uncontrollably.

"I need to leave."

"Why dear? You just got here.", Ursula finally interrupted with a sarcastic tone.

"No, I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I need to be alone right now." Regina started for the door as Mal grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. Her facial expression towards her old friend changed from a smirk to a look of concern. "Can you two please give us a minute? Seriously, please." Showing a lot of reluctance, Cruella and Ursula actually stood up and nodded at each other.

"Fine, whatever. Ursula, let's go for a walk. I'm tired of being cooped up in this cabin with this hot mess anyways." The two gave Regina a daring look and walked out, slamming the door behind them.

"Please don't go Regina. Sit down, I know you need this. You can't deny how close we were. Why can't you let me help you again, the way I always have? I'm not like the other two, you know that. You know me." As she sat down next to Maleficent and put her head in her hands, her control finally crashed, her body trembling along with the sobs that were escaping her.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone.", Regina said in short breaths in an attempt to talk while crying. "If I can't decide who I am all I'll do is turn on everyone I still have left. You don't understand, I want to die. I want to end this pain." She felt Mal's hand on her back, rubbing it in small circles while trying to soothe her.

"Shhh. Stop crying dear. Please, it still pains me to see you this way." Regina couldn't stop crying and she couldn't bring herself to look at Mal. Her head was spinning, causing her dizziness from the panic that was causing her heart to jump up and down. "Please don't leave. You don't need to do this. Reach down into your soul and think about everything we've been through. I'll never forget the first time I laid my eyes on you. You captivated me Regina." She looked down at the embers in her palms and hoped that she was on her way to calming the younger woman. "You gave me my fire back, but please don't lose control of yours."

'


	2. Chapter 2: Please, Just Stay Away

It was brought to my attention by a stranger that some people seem to think I'm "botching" other movies and TV quotes as an attempt to support my lack of creativity. I am writing other stories and have written other stories without any parallels at all. I shouldn't have to explain myself, but this is something I wanted to do for me. Some of these quotes have a really personal meaning to me and I felt honored to include them. If this bothers you I'm sorry, but I'm in no way claiming rights to these pieces and trying to write them off as my own. I'm just doing what I love. I'd say that after this chapter I'd put a TW out but at this point I'm not sure what it will contain. I'll update when I have that information. Thank you for everyone who enjoys!

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It's been at least twenty minutes since Cruella and Ursula left for their walk and Regina still cried uncontrollably, her head resting on Mal's shoulder. She wanted to stay away and keep her distance but she couldn't deny her need for human contact. Years and years of being strong and losing all of her happiness finally caused her to cave in. Two lost loves, a broken childhood, being almost killed at least fifty times; she didn't have enough tears to allow her to release the tension. Flashbacks were pounding through her skull every few seconds and causing her chest to fill up with the most hateful thoughts she thought possible. She seen herself sticking a dagger through Snow's heart, choking her mother until she was lifeless, telling her son to go find his happiness somewhere else. It was revolting, even to her.

Her heart still continued to pound with a constant changing of emotions and she felt like she was about to be sick. The fire in her hands would dance around and fall to ash in a repetitive motion, showing without words the ups and downs in her stability. The older woman said nothing to Regina but continued to rub her back soothingly and let her cry. She knew all too well what happens when you bottle things up for too long; Regina was the perfect example. She felt nothing more than terrible for her. She thought back to her own battles and remembered how close she was to losing the same control. She was on the edge so many times but had more power to pull herself back before she was too far gone.

The sound of footsteps entered their ears rather quickly as the two queens returned from outside.

"Well, well, what do we have -", Cruella started to tease on her way in as a fireball flew towards her, causing her to jump back.

"Get out.", Regina said through gritted teeth. She looked down into her lap but felt all of the eyes in the room on her. You could have cut the tension with a knife. Mal sighed to herself and felt a nervousness ticking in her heart. Right when she was close to helping this woman breathe and piece herself together those two had to come in and get her worked up again. They seem to be the cause of most of the group's problems, especially Cruella's urge to constantly open her fucking trap. She didn't think they knew the possible consequences of Regina's anger and pain. It wasn't something anyone but Maleficent was used to dealing with. She squeezed Regina's hand gently as an attempt to remind her that she was still there.

"Cruella please.", Mal pleaded with her, interrupting the two who looked like they were about to kill each other. "You need to give us some time because -"

"Why should I leave just because Ms. Perfect had a reality check and now she can't deal?" As quick as a flashRegina jumped up and flung towards her, grabbing her by the throat and holding her up against the wall.

"Do you not fucking understand? Look at us. We're villains. We are here to destroy everything and everyone else because we have nothing. You can go and get your happy ending and waltz away into the sunset with your octopus lover over here but it doesn't work like that for me. I have nothing. I have no happy ending to go back to. You can't tell me that you've never broken down and cried when you realized you lost it all. Let yourself fall apart in the middle of the night when no one was there to see it. Right now you are nothing more than a coward." She pushed harder on her neck and a violent tone echoed through her words. She was practically yelling now.

"Do you want to know what a reality check is Cruella? Watching your son give his real mother all of the love he never gave you. Having dreams about a man who no longer exists because your mother killed him right in front of your fucking eyes. Holding a sleeping curse an inch away from your hand because nothing else sounds better than putting yourself out. I…you don't…I can't…" Her voice broke as she let go of the taller woman's neck and turned away. "I can't." She felt the hot tears roll down her cheeks again as she closed her eyes and tried to pretend that none of this was happening. That she was back where she was meant to be living a life with someone who actually loved her. Her breathing shallowed as she became engulfed in a full blown panic attack. Cruella did her best to fight back the urge to snap, realizing just how serious this situation was getting. Regina was right, she had broken down more than once. For once, she felt a pang of sympathy. The pieces started forming together in her mind. Regina throwing small fireballs all night long and squeezing her hands open and shut. Her eyes widened.

Before she even had the chance to apologize and try to calm her down, they smelled smoke coming from the outside, the sunny glare turning into a dark haze.

"Jesus fucking Christ.", Cruella said slowly in shock as they all looked out from the cabin. The trees surrounding them were now burning the whole way down, bright orange embers flying onto the ground and the surrounding brush. Regina gasped at the sight and looked down at her hands, her skin now covered in black residue. She felt a burning sensation underneath her palms and it terrified her. She never felt the effects of her own magic before.

"Regina, Regina you need to stop this! You're going to burn the whole town down and in case you haven't noticed that includes us too!", Maleficent said in a panic. She shook Regina lightly by the shoulders in hopes that bringing her out of her state of mind would stop the forest from burning. "You have to have the power to stop the fire."

"Don't you see Maleficent? I can't."

"Yes you can! I know you can. We can fix this together. You don't have to be afraid."

"You're wasting your time." Ursula walked over to Regina and got an inch away from her face, looking as if she were about to knock her out.

"You are NOT going to stand there and let everyone fucking die because of your selfishness. What, just because you have nothing to live for means that everyone else should perish? I've come too far to be at the mercy of your hands.", she scoffed. "Maybe you were destined to have nothing you monster." This caused Regina to explode with rage as she walked outside, yelling at the women on the way out. Mal lifted her head as her and Cruella tried to stop Ursula before she continued to egg her on but quickly realized that they were too late.

"If I burn, you burn with me."

Cruella and Ursula started pacing back and forth muttering to themselves, quickly trying to find a way out of the situation. They didn't posses the power to poof themselves somewhere else at this point and it was pretty clear that no amount of water would put out the fire. They wondered how far the fire has spread and if the others down in Storybooke had any idea of their upcoming fate. The citizens of the town were so used to curses that they would expect a fiftieth round of sleeping curse before a fire. Maleficent ran out after Regina and grabbed her from behind, stopping her just a few feet away from the flames.

"What are you doing!? You're going to get yourself killed Regina." With the look of the hollowest of souls, she stared into Mal's eyes with a stare she's never seen before in her life.

"That's the plan."


	3. Chapter 3: I'm Never Going Back

As the flames grew larger and got closer to Regina's skin Mal pulled her back with force and held her as close as she could. It wasn't about saving her own life anymore, it was about saving the woman she secretly loved from dying in the worst way. She wasn't going to go down without a fight; all she needed to do was get through to this woman. To make her realize what she means to her.

"Regina please. Suicide is never the way out no matter what's going on in your life.", she said loudly atop the sound of roaring in the distance. "Even if you think you will never be able to escape your problems, I promise you that you will be happy again. You deserve to be here. Do you know what it was like for me when I seen your face again? I felt butterflies in my stomach in a way that I've never felt before. I couldn't stop looking at you. It's different now than it was before. We had so many nights of lust and passion but the emotions were lacking. Now all I want is you in my arms and I don't ever want to let go." With that she looked up and noticed the embers start to recede lower and away from them. She felt a pang of energy burst through her chest; she was saving her and what made it better was that her words contained no false statements.

"Regina…I love you. For who you are and for anything else you'll ever be. Nothing you could ever do would ever make me change my mind." Her eyes widened as the sky started throwing down shades of blue. She watched as the fire drifted upwards into the cool air, disappearing in a mist and turning into water which started raining down upon them. Lightning cracked through the sky and somehow gave off a feeling of comfort. The trees that were barren just moments ago started blossoming back to health. She noticed a tear run down Regina's cheek as she weakly smiled back at her. Her face was pale and she looked absolutely exhausted but that didn't matter. She was breathtaking.

"My god I thought I was about to turn into a piece of fucking Calamari.", Ursula said with relief as her and Cruella exited the small cabin and ran towards them. "Regina, this isn't easy for me but I'm sorry okay? We didn't know." Regina didn't want to forgive them for everything they've said to her in the past twenty-four hours but she needed to let it go. Let go of everything that was weighing her down and making her hurt. She didn't owe anyone anything. She didn't need to look for acceptance from other people; she needed to believe in herself. The road ahead would be tough and full of hardships and tears but it was time she accepted that and pushed ahead. Mal was right, she deserved to live.

Cruella and Ursula stared at the two women who were still locked in a tight embrace. The rain continued pouring down on them and soaking their clothes, their bodies warm against each other.

"Nothing like a hug between two old friends to fix a broken soul, I can't deny that. It takes me back." Ursula said, reminiscing to a time where she too found comfort in the arms of someone who cared about her. The four women stared into the sky in a few moments of silence, suddenly appreciating their lives that have been spared. The fact that they were villains was never going to change and they didn't mind that, but having each other felt comforting. They could accomplish anything together including finding their happy endings. Their feelings towards Regina changed; they noticed how broken she was and that it wasn't all an act. The weary trust they once secretly had for her wasn't the same.

"So Mal, what did you do to talk her out of this one?" Cruella asked in an almost sarcastic tone. Nothing would ever stop her from having sass backed behind her voice. It was just who she was. Instead of answering her, Maleficent wrapped her arms around Regina's neck and kissed her passionately, hoping that Regina wouldn't pull back. She didn't. The other queens stared in shock at what was happening right in from of them.

"Holy. Shit.", Ursula mumbled, looking over at Cruella with a small smile. "I don't know why I never seen this coming."

Far on the other side of town, Emma and Henry watched the storm outside of the window. They wondered where Regina was and if she was okay, but the blonde continued to tell her son that she could take care of herself. On the inside she was worried sick, thinking about Regina's behavior for the past few days. The way her hands shook and her complexion was as white as a ghost. The way everything she touched seemed to give off a spark. She couldn't tell if she was tired of being undercover or if she was changing being around her old friends. The thought of her going back to the dark side terrified her.

"Do you think she's okay?", Henry asked for probably the twentieth time in the last thirty minutes.

"She's fine kid. Promise."She had no idea of the surprise that would shortly be coming to all of them.

"Man this rain is crazy.", David said while entering the apartment drenched from head to toe. "Haven't had a storm like this in ages." The family continued to stare out of the window mesmerized by the sudden change in weather, Regina's whereabouts weighing heavily on their minds.

Regina and Mal walked closely together on their way back to the east side of Storybrooke. She didn't know what she could possibly say to everyone to make them hurt less, but it was time she did something to make herself happy. She didn't want to lie, knowing that lies didn't take long before they catch up to you. All she could think about was her son who was probably waiting for her and ready to hug her and tell her that he missed her. Her heart was torn in two but there just wasn't a way that she could have both. There was never a time where someone succeeded being a part of the both the dark and good side. Over a decade of memories flooded her mind and hit her all at once. The first time Henry smiled at her, the first time he said mom, all of the diaper changing, midnight feedings and rocking him in the middle of the night. She thought of the first time she sent him to school and the first time he hugged her and didn't want to let go. She felt extremely sick to her stomach at the though of leaving him behind, feeling like a monster.'But he's older now, he has to understand that he can go on without me', she tried to convince herself. 'He has Emma.'

Sneaking around the back, the four women finally entered the alley behind the apartment. Regina's anxiety was so high at this point that she was sure she was going to pass out before she even walked in the door.

"We're going to go undercover and try to find Gold wherever he is. He needs to know what you're doing." Cruella and Ursula disappeared as they walked sneakily away towards the wood. She was trying to stall as long as she could but this wasn't going to go away. She felt a hand rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her and somehow it did for a minute or two. For once the fire didn't come back to her palms, the darkness on her skin was completely gone and washed away by the rain.

"Please, wait around back and don't let yourself be seen. I need to do this right now before I change my mind", Regina said while choking back tears.

"You'll be alright darling." Mal gave her one last embrace and felt Regina's whole body trembling beneath her. "Be strong for me." She walked slowly up the stairs and through the doorway, seeing everyone in the apartment look at her and exhale a side of relief. She knew that she could never allow the dark side to make her hurt them and she had to convince the other women to feel the same way. There had to be a way that they could find happiness without hurting Emma or Henry. They could go conquer other realms, but this one needed to be left alone.

"Mom!"

"Oh my god Regina I'm so glad you're okay.", Snow said. She never thought she'd see the day where that response came to her.

"We were worried sick! Why didn't you call us!?" Emma practically yelled at her. She has grown severely protective of her over the past few months. Through all of the attempts to show the fact that they missed her, Regina stood as still as a statue and showed no expression.

"Please, all of you. Sit down. We need to talk."

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"How could you do this Regina." Emma asked with the look of silent rage on her face. Henry had tears full of hurt running down his face and Snow was literally bawling as David held her in her arms. "How the fuck could you do this.", she raised her voice, no longer caring if she was swearing in front of her family.

"I….this is what I need to do. I need to let go."

"What about your son? Do you not see him crying for you? Do you not see the rest of us crying for you?"

"Mom…please don't do this. They're trying to brainwash you I know it. Please." Henry cried and begged to his mother. It took every ounce of strength in her not to break down for the second time today.

"Henry, you will be fine without me. All of you will. I am a villain, I can't deny it. I've tried being a hero and it left me with nothing but hurt and pain that almost cost me my life. I can make you all forget about me with the snap of a finger. I can give all of you a normal, happy life, you know I can. You've seen me do it before. You need to make a choice, either accept me for who I really am or forget I ever existed."

"No no Mom please.", Henry pleaded in the middle of an emotional breakdown. Everyone in the room besides Regina was crying and she knew she couldn't take it anymore. "I can't forget you. I'll never forget you mom. Please."

"Why are you doing this, please just tell us why Regina.", David said. He was trying to be the most rational and calm one in the room but he was losing his composure. "We've done nothing but take you in and try to help you find Robin so you can be happy. What could we have possibly done to hurt you?" She cringed at what her next sentence was going to sound like. The lies had to stop.

"Robin…Robin isn't my happy ending. Maleficent is." All of the eyes in the room widened but Emma was by far the worst looking one of the bunch.

"No, she had to have put a curse on you or something you can't feel this way you can't -"

"Enough Emma!", Regina yelled, startling them. "There is no curse on me. Contrary to what you believe her and I had a past that I never thought I'd have to share with you. This is what I wanted and now that she's come back I can't escape this. I love her." She felt sickness and panic run through her body after admitting the truth.

"I…I think I'm going to be sick." And with that she slammed the door behind her, walking outside and letting the cool air attempt to quell her nausea. She knew what she had to do before anyone came looking for her. Erasing this town would mean her and the others couldn't hurt the Charmings' or any of the other residents of the town. That the darkness in her heart that could take her and allow her to hurt her son was a chance she would never take. She wouldn't forget them, but they would forget her. All it would take was ten seconds. Her decisions were about to change her for the rest of her life. She walked towards Mal and the look of concern appeared on the other woman's face. Cruella and Ursula were back from their private meeting with Rumple, their conversation frozen by her sudden appearance.

"Regina? Are you alright dear?" The flash of green magic flew out of Regina's hands and the town began to fog. Remembering their location, she stopped for a moment and created a shield protecting the four of them so they wouldn't have the same fate as the others. Why not give themselves the same happy endings as everyone else? Why couldn't she have given herself Robin and the life she always dreamed of just weeks ago? Because she knew her heart wasn't in it. She was desperate and longing for anything that came to her but deep down she knew the truth. She knew she wouldn't be happy with him for long.

"What are you doing…." Cruella asked in fear.

"I'm erasing this town. After this, they won't ever remember my existence. We'll be okay but everyone else will disappear. You can find your happy ending somewhere other than here; this town never really held the key anyways."

"Regina you're not thinking straight you need to calm down and then decide your fate. "

"I can't. I'm letting go."


	4. Chapter 4: How Could I Forget?

I really think this is the chapter that got me the most emotional since I've started writing this. I know that it's not as long and it seems a little repetitive in content, but I spilled it onto the page without a second thought. I just knew what I wanted here. Anyways, I hope that you're enjoying this and I plan on continuing this story for quite a long time so long as everyone stays interested. There will be "hot and heavy" times in the upcoming chapters and I want to warn anyone who isn't comfortable with this. Despite those chapters, the plot will always continue and involve more characters and adventures as the plot goes on. Right now I just feel like I don't want to rush it. You guys literally have no idea how much it makes me smile when I get e-mails saying that people reviewed/favorited/followed my story. It makes my day; writing is one of the biggest parts of me. Hope you enjoy.

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The town before them covered in green fog and started to fall apart right before their eyes.

"Mom, please!', Henry shouted as he started to run towards her. It was the last look she would ever have of her son and his expression of pain would forever be etched in her brain. The thick air covered his body and the sound of his running footsteps disappeared right before he reached her. Regina put her hands down as the spell took over, her body now completely drained from today's events. She felt like she hasn't rested in weeks and the bags under her eyes told the truth. She hasn't eaten or slept in three days and her physical condition started to feel the punishment for that. She felt hot tears running down her cheeks as she gave one last smile in Henry's direction before everything in front of her evaporated. She still didn't know how she could do this; maybe like Emma she just wanted to give him his best chance. She wanted to give all of them their best chance. The town that was surrounding them just minutes ago now showed only deep layers of forest. Everyone besides the four queens had disappeared as if they were never there to begin with, leaving Regina with the feeling that her heart was literally breaking in two. In a state of exhaustion and grief, Regina fell to her knees and looked forward at the place that once lied before her.

She should have taken a picture; should have recorded a message, anything to remember her son just one last time. He was growing up so fast and getting so handsome and adult-like and now she'll never see him accomplish so many things. She'll never be there to see him graduate, have his first girlfriend or legally drive a car for the first time. She will never see baby Neal start walking or saying his first word. She'll never see Hook and Emma get married or maybe even have a child of their own. It's all gone. The moments of sheer regret that started to take over her dissipated for a few seconds as Mal knelt down beside her and gently touched her hand. As much as this killed Regina inside, a piece of her still felt liberated. All of the stress and fighting and years of battle between her, Emma and the Charmings' was now just a piece of the past. She hoped she could learn to live again without their presence but the idea of doing so seemed impossible. She didn't think she would ever be able to go an hour without their faces appearing wherever she looked.

"Are you going to be okay dear?", Mal asked with concern in her eyes. She moved closer to her face, taking a long look at her and tearing up at the sight of the woman before her. Mal hasn't cried since she lost her child and the watering in her eyes almost shocked her. She shouldn't have bothered to ask that question as she already knew the answer. She knew she couldn't expect Regina to be stable for a while but for now she has to do whatever she can to comfort her and make it easier. Helping her needed to start with her staying composed and not breaking down with her; she needed to stay calm and rational to make her feel like she would be okay. A warmth suddenly hit her body at the worst possible second and irritated her at her lack of self-control. She wanted to touch her along the neck and kiss her lips at that very moment but she knew that Regina wasn't in the mood for that kind of behavior. It would make her look ignorant and selfish if she acted on it and she couldn't believe that the thought even crossed her mind. Maybe it was because she was used to using passion as a way to help her cope, the way she had before during their late night meetings. She took away the pain she felt from her mother's abuse and her father's negligence. She fucked her tears away and held her tightly afterwards, letting her drift off to sleep in her arms. "Please talk to me Regina, are you okay?", she asked again while wanting to slap herself in the face.

"I don't know.", Regina said without looking up at the ground. She no longer possessed the energy to cry; she didn't think she had any tears left anyways. Mal noticed Regina's body become unsteady beside her and pulled her up to her feet, wrapping her arms around her waist and almost having to hold her up. It wasn't an embrace of sexual want or lust but an attempt to keep her from falling.

"You'll get through this darling. I'm never going to let you go remember?." Instead of responding to her words, the younger woman stared off into space as if she were in a daze. Her eyes looked hollow and her legs felt like they were going to give out. She wondered where her family was right at this second. Did they already forget about her or was the spell still working on them? Were they smiling or laughing? She felt a tightness form in her chest and she swore she was having a heart attack. Ursula and Cruella found their way towards them after spending the last few minutes staying quiet and sticking to themselves. Even with their bad attitudes they had enough respect to be sympathetic and understanding. Regina noticed Cruella and Ursula's hands lightly touching one another as if they needed comforting themselves. She never thought she would see the day that these two villains would ever reach out to her and make her feel secure; everything now felt strange and out of place and it was terrifying. Still lost in a trance, she snapped inside and felt an overwhelming sense of dizziness that was about to make her faint. The emotional outburst shot through her like a bullet.

"What day is it? What is the fucking date?!", Regina asked with a sudden panic behind her voice, almost yelling. The women looked confused by her question and startled by the loudness of her voice.

"It's March 2nd dear. Why?" Before she could find the strength to utter out the words she quit talking, feeling like she was going to vomit if she opened her mouth.

"You don't look so good Regina." Ursula interrupted.

"I…", after the first word of her sentence Regina began to see noting but darkness in front of her. 'Oh shit' was the last phrase she heard coming out of Cruella's mouth before she passed out into the older woman's arms. What they didn't know at the time was that she went from heartbroken to completely wrecked. In that second she literally lost consciousness as the realization hit her. How the fuck couldn't anyone tell her?

She was so busy with her infatuation with Maleficent and her own self-interest that she forgot her son's birthday.

* * *

A happily content baby Neal sat in his stroller as Emma's son and her friends enjoyed dessert at the local ice cream parlor. The sun shone through the windows and radiated a light on them, their location being warm and pleasant. Nothing could get any better.

"Mom can I have a banana split pleaseeee?" Henry begged her. Emma chuckled, knowing that he was always a sucker for anything sweet.

"You can have whatever you want kid." Emma smiled at him. "Tonight we're celebrating."


	5. Chapter 5: You'll Never Be Alone

Regina felt a hand resting on her stomach as she awoke from her deep sleep. She had no idea where she was, what time it was or what happened moments before her falling unconscious; all she knew was that she was tired, sore and stiff from apparently sleeping on the floor. For a moment in time all of the past day's events felt like they were a dream; that she would wake up, walk down the stairs and go make Henry breakfast before going to work. Instead of looking around she closed her eyes again, forgetting her surroundings and trying to allow herself to accept everything that she has just faced. It wasn't a dream, this was her life now and she needed to start picking up the pieces. Of course, the first thing she thought of again was Henry. Did he celebrate his birthday last night or today or whatever time it was? What did he wish for when he blew out his candles? Was there even a chance that any of them remembered even just a piece of her? She didn't feel heat rise before her eyes this time and there was no urge to cry. Her expression was almost that of a stone instead of a broken woman. The skin around her eyes felt like they were on fire from all of the tears that had been shed hours ago and there was a dull throbbing in her head.

The hand on top of her belly button didn't move and continued to put a layer of warmth on her core, reminding her that wherever she was she was not alone. She turned over slowly and moved closer to Maleficent, the woman who was holding her close. It gave her peace of mind to know who was comforting her in her time of need and protecting her from herself. She noticed how exhausted Mal looked and wondered what she went through to care for her and get her here. Her hand was tight on Regina's skin but her eyes were still closed and she was still peacefully asleep. Regina stared for a moment at her face, letting her anxiety diminish while watching Mal's chest rise and fall with her deep breaths. She stared at her long eyelashes, pink-tinted cheeks and her long blonde hair that was now down and lying on top of her shoulders. She had retired from her uptight attire and now only wore a black tank top and matching lace panties and it was in this state that Regina found her the most beautiful, so natural and vulnerable. Everything she loved about her. She couldn't believe that she deserved Maleficent after everything she's done wrong in her life, not even counting the times she's betrayed her.

Looking up, Regina immediately recognized the dark room she was in by the decor. The rug they were sleeping on was only feet away from a flickering fireplace and the room was large with walls of stone. 'I didn't know she even still had this place.', Regina thought to herself. 'How did she even manage to find it?' Knowing that she was in Maleficent's home made her feel even more at ease; if anything it was definitely better than trekking through the forest for weeks. It gave her flashbacks of the countless times Mal has taken her on that very rug and gave her nights full of pleasure and lust. The fur from the rug beneath her back felt just as soft as it did before and hadn't lost a touch. She was right back to where she belonged. Reminiscing on her younger years, she stayed quiet and tried to be as still as possible to make sure that she didn't wake Mal; the woman deserved to sleep after dealing with her and all of her shenanigans. As she stared at a familiar painting on the wall it immediately made her think of Gold. Did he manage to escape the spell because of his unknown whereabouts or was he finally cast away with the rest of them? Would anyone even exist in the Enchanted Forest now that the citizens of Storybooke are gone? Surely there are still a few lost souls out there that they forgot about. There were so many questions floating around in her mind but she was still way too tired to think about it.

The hand that was still on Regina's body stirred as Mal opened her eyes. She noticed Regina staring up at the ceiling without even blinking and the worry that she felt for her came back all at once. No matter her expression, she still breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that she was conscious.

"You're awake. Are you feeling any better? You scared me to death last night Regina."

"I'm fine.", she said with a little too much haste. She didn't want to sound rude to the woman that helped her but everything was still just too much. "What time is it?"

"Noon apparently.", Mal answered while putting her cell phone back down. She was surprised that it even still had life left in it's battery. Hell, she was even more surprised that she was getting a signal from somewhere. "Are you cold?" She noticed Regina shivering and held her tighter in an attempt to give off more heat.

"I'm alright." She nuzzled her face into Mal's neck and tried to drift back off into sleep. As hard as she tried there were too many things on her conscience that were keeping her awake.

"Where are Ursula and Cruella?"

"They took up one of the guest rooms down the hallway. Seem to have been getting a little closer in contact if you ask me. A dog and a squid, how charming.", she said with a laugh. "It was late by the time we got here, everyone was exhausted."

"How'd you find your way back home? How did you get me here?"

"We sacrificed your soul and jumped into a fourth dimension." She laughed again as Regina looked up at her in sheer horror.

"Come on dear you know magic better than that. This GPS thing on my phone somehow knew where to take me. Bit strange if you ask me but I'm glad I decided to listen to Cruella. I'd like to know why a thing called Google can find a well-hidden lair though. And I carried you here of course. You are light my dear, although maybe a little too light. Are you not eating enough?"

"Ugh, I'm eating just fine, that doesn't even pertain to this conversation. Still, glad you found it."

"So am I…you have no idea how much I've missed home…" She kissed Regina on the lips for a few passionate seconds and pulled away, looking into her eyes and melting her heart by doing so. "This is your home too now Regina…this will always be your home."

Her words found a way to make Regina feel both grateful and sad. It's only been a day and she was already tired of the thoughts of her family wreaking havoc on her. She was lying in the arms of a woman that she loved, being comforted and even taken in by her and her guilt still wouldn't allow her to relax. Would it ever? Every single time she closed her eyes she seen Henry, Emma and the Charmings' and they were always smiling or doing something together as a family. It should make her feel better to have thoughts about him being safe and secure but she doesn't trust her own judgment; her visions have been wrong before. Knowing very well that everything that happened was caused by her actions she knew she had to keep it together and find a way to move on. But what was the correct time frame in which someone can just abandon their son and ride away happily in the sunset without having a second thought? 'You need to quit being so hard on yourself Regina.', she ordered at herself. No soul in their right mind could go through this tragic affair and come out of it clean in under twenty-four hours. This would hurt for years.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?", Mal asked. She received silence from her last statement but she didn't take it personally. She's known Regina long enough to see that she was completely quiet when she was upset. Up until two days ago she was never one to show her emotions or let her guard down at all. The fact that she was acting more human in front of other people was both beautiful and tragic when looking at her from that point of view. The beauty in her eyes when she cried was breathtaking but the tears contained decades full of pent-up devastation; just another example of what emotional bottling can do to you over time. The sound of Regina crying the night before would be something Mal could never forget. It was a moment in time where they connected in both body and soul and bonded over a heart's broken pieces. She couldn't tell if it was one of her best or worst memories.

"No.", was all Regina said in response. She put her head on the blonde's chest and took deep breaths while listening to her heart beat. The sound of human life other than her own had never sounded so soothing. All she could think about was 'what next?' What were these women going to be looking for and what did they want their happy endings to be exactly? What problems will she face tomorrow and who will try to stand in their way? Who else is out there? Her relaxation was hindered by the repetitive thoughts and twinges of pain coming from different places in her body.

"I can tell you're pained dear. Do you want anything?"

"No."

"Well maybe if you would let me in and tell me what's bothering you I could help a little more." This made Regina angry for what felt like no reason at all. There was so much bothering her that it could't be pinpointed down to just one pain or emotion. She bit her tongue through the internal irritation, after all Mal was just trying to help her. She knew she was going through a tough time and wanted to reach out. Why couldn't she stop feeling so hateful and let people love her for once? "….Regina?"

"No. I'm fine. Just have a headache and I really have to pee." Everything that was keeping her from sleeping and shutting the world out was doing nothing but frustrating her at this point.

"I have some of those aspirin things I found in town last week, I think they're helpful if you'd like some. Bathroom's upstairs on the right if you've forgotten, I know it's been a while since you've been here to visit me.", she gave off a small wink with the last part of her statement. As Regina stood up she looked at her reflection in the mirror in the corner. Her clothes were disheveled, her hair all over the place and her eye makeup all over her cheeks in a not-so-chic like fashion. She stared at herself for a moment and took the time to emotionally beat herself down for her appearance. She was never proud of her looks even when she was well-kempt.

"You look beautiful dear, always.", she felt Mal's hands around her hips, both of them now looking into the mirror. Her finger's ran up and down Regina's sides and trailed over her breasts in a wandering fashion, making her breathing become a little more unsteady. She felt the older woman's breath on her ear as she whispered to her in a seductive and low growl.

'Why don't you go take a hot shower dear, it'll help. And maybe you'd like some company.'

—

_"But Mom I don't want to stay with your friends while you go out on another date. I'm old enough I can stay here by myself."_

_"Absolutely not Henry.", Emma retorted. "I don't want you burning down my house. And besides you know how much Mary-Margaret and David love you, technically you're doing them a favor. Even Neal likes you. He never cries for you so you must have a magic touch." She looked out of the window of their home and could see all of the lights from the city in the distance; even at night it was the most beautiful place to be. Her mind wandered to one of the lights towards the west side, the one where she will be at in just an hour or so._

_"Please do this for me Henry. Killian and I - well we really like each other. This is so important to me."_

_"Okay mom.", Henry gave in with a sigh, grabbing his backpack and walking out to the car. "But when you get home I'm kicking your butt at Mario Kart."_

_"I think that can be arranged, only it will be you getting your butt kicked." She slammed the driver's side door and started the car as they headed towards their friends' apartment, the warm breeze of the night moving through the open windows._

_"Mom?"_

_"Yeah kid?"_

_"I love you."_


	6. Chapter 6: Release

If you aren't prepared for chapters that contain a lot of sexual content, please stop here. ;)

* * *

As the hot water from the shower rained onto their bodies, Regina felt as if her fears were being washed away. The only thing she could notice right now was her desire for Mal and the gratefulness of being able to take a shower after what felt like forever. She was also grateful to have such a beautiful woman standing before her, nude and confident. She was decently taller than Regina and had a curvier figure and larger breasts. If Regina had a body type of preference, she was it. Her wet blonde hair clung to her lower back as she stared the younger woman down, almost as if she were an animal stalking it's prey. She had both love and lust fueling her fire and it was overpowering to her senses. Regina suddenly felt her body being pushed against the cold wall behind her and she felt her wrists being held tightly. It set off a spark inside of her core for the first time in so long, reminding her of how desperate she's become due to her lack of touch.

Mal's fingertips lightly brushed up and down Regina's sides, barely making contact but touching her enough to make her hair stand up on edge. She felt Regina's hips lean in towards her and she could already sense her growing need. She hugged her waist tightly and entangled her in a passionate kiss, not pulling away until she felt like she was out of breath. She heard Regina moan softly underneath her as she left light scratches up her sides and dug her nails into her skin. If she knew anything, it was that Regina liked a little pain with her pleasure. In the past she would get off at Mal's scratches and bites and it was invigorating to not have to take things in such a fragile matter. Then again, Regina's partners in between their rekindling could have changed what type of lover she desired but she hoped that that wasn't the case. Taking a chance, she leaned in and bit Regina on the neck, not hard enough to hurt her but hard enough to test her needs. Another moan of approval made her confident in her abilities to please the other woman once again.

When Mal told Regina it would be 'just like old times' three days ago, Regina probably assumed that they would conquer realms together or maybe even lock a few peasants up in cells for life. While this may hold truth in the future, there was no way she could have seen this type of behavior occurring again; at least not at first. To be honest, Mal forgot about Regina for a period of a few months a while back and felt rather guilty about it when she remembered. Unlike Regina she hadn't had any sexual partners during her absence and it was surprising that she hasn't exploded with desperation during that time. She remembered her built up sexual tension getting the best of her at times and fueling her irritation towards others. She didn't take the term 'I really need to get laid' loosely and any sort of self-stimulation did nothing but make her angrier. Despite the fact that she's gone so much longer without sex, she still knew that Regina was a lot closer to the edge than she was. Mal always possessed a lot more self-control when it came to her own body. When there was no one there to love you, you had to learn to keep it together.

She knew she had the upper hard on Regina as she always had; it wasn't hard to do. For someone who played the part of the worst villain with the largest amount of control she definitely came undone in the heat of the moment. Leaving bites on her shoulders and scratches up her back, Mal felt her own arousal throbbing through her core. As drenched as they were from the shower she could still feel the wetness between her own legs. The water from the shower had turned cold due to the time they've spent there and she turned the knobs to turn the water off. She could sense Regina's disappointment when she let go of her wrists but she knew that she wouldn't be disappointed for long. She gave Mal a look that was almost a pout and stared at her in hopes that she wouldn't change her mind and leave her hanging.

"Come here darling." She pulled Regina out of the shower and walked back towards the bedroom. Neither of them toweled off and their bodies were still soaking wet from both the shower and their sexual need. She practically pushed Regina onto the bed and pounced on her, putting her thigh between Regina's legs for balance and biting her on the neck twice as hard as she had before. She felt Regina squirm underneath her as she held her down; she was determined to be the one who was going to be in control. The thought of leaving marks on her body that would probably bruise by tomorrow made her lick her lips with excitement. Letting go of her shoulder, she ran her tongue down her chest and stopped at her breasts. She flicked her nipple with her tongue and bit down on it softly, once again using her teeth as the main tool to build her up.

"Do you like that dear?"

"Oh my fucking god you have no idea." Mal went back and forth between her breasts and brought up her hand to squeeze them. "Mal please don't stop…pleassseeee…" She bucked her hips against her thigh and hoped that she would soon give in and fuck her with everything she had. Mal groaned out loud as she felt Regina's wetness against her skin. She wanted to make her come already and get her pleasure as soon as she could but she also knew that she wanted to drag it out. When you hang on the edge the release feels twice as good. Not listening to her wishes, Mal lifted her head up and stared at Regina as she scratched down her stomach and stopped right at the bottom of her hips.

"Please keep going…I need you..", Regina begged. Complying wasn't something she was going to do and deep down Regina probably knew that. The sound of her begging was making it harder not to go down on her at that very moment and it was testing her own patience. She moved her own body downwards and put her hand between her legs, for now just brushing up against her wet folds. Her index finger flicked against her clit and made the younger woman release a loud sound of pleasure.

"Please fuck me right now please."

"No no darling, you have to earn it first." She took her hand away and rubbed the wetness on her fingers down Regina's stomach. "First, I need you to be a good girl and let me do what I want with you. But don't make any noises, control your desire and you'll earn my love. No speaking, just nod." Regina huffed under her breath with frustration but nodded her head at her wishes anyways. She went back to work on Regina's body, caressing her hips and getting closer to the spot between her legs with her tongue. She looked back up at the younger woman who had a look of concentration on her face as she was trying to keep her noises to herself. Despite her silence she continued to move her hips up and down closer to Mal's body. All she wanted was to have her fingers inside of her. To feel her tongue inside of her and getting her off. The next few minutes were spent by Maleficent teasing her with her tongue and looking back up at her to take in the look of her trying to be silent.

"You did so well Regina. do you need me now? Tell me how much you need me."

"I need you so fucking much Mal." She stared deep into her eyes with a look that could kill. "Fuck me." Mal could no longer take the urge that was overpowering her body and slid her fingers in Regina's opening. The brunette cried out in pleasure as she twisted her fingers and pumped them in and out of her at a fast pace. She moved the position of her hand up a little higher, hitting her sweet spot and making her push her hips against her as hard as she possibly could.

"Oh my god…", Regina gasped at the best feeling of pleasure she's ever experienced. She could barely keep herself on edge any longer and was starting to climb a ladder to climax. Right before she hit the top Mal pulled her fingers out of her and smiled down at her with a devilish grin. "Please keep going, I need to-" As she went to finish her sentence, the older woman noticed the look on her face and put her head down between her legs, finally going down on her. Her tongue moved in and out of her throbbing sex and back out to suck on her clit. It only took less than a minute before Regina finally let her orgasm take over.

"Ahh…ahh…", she cried out in pleasure. It felt like a firework went off inside of her and she continued to move her lower body to ride out the waves of release. She closed her eyes as the world spun around her and she seen stars in her eyes. No one had ever been able to make her feel this way before and it was absolutely liberating. When Mal was sure she was done she picked her head up and laid down beside Regina, both of them trying to catch their breath after the encounter they've just had. Mal felt herself yawn even though she had just gotten a whole night of sleep; it was obvious that this kind of thing would wear you out.

"Someone's tired.", Regina teased at her. "But don't plan on falling asleep dear. It's your turn now."


End file.
